An Egyptian living in Europe but her heart stayed back home. Having some random thoughts about the before and after pictures. Ghawayesh means bracelets. In my context it symbolizes the cuffs of my culture. I don't know if I like them or hate them. Thanks for passing by.

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I started this blog in 2006 as a joke. Now that I look back, I have decided to take it seriously!

12 July 2009

Beware of the Qemany- for he will teach your kids very bad things

When I was growing up in Kuwait in the 80s, I had this religion teacher called Rawa'a Al-Turguman; a Syrian lady who struck me as a very strange woman to my world. Back home, we did not really deal with religion much. My father never fasted or prayed or showed any intention to do so (although he insisted that I took private lessons to learn the Quran because it would be good for my Arabic); and my mother was not veiled and dressed very fashionably; she was a sports coach after all- although she fasted and prayed without making too much fuss about it, until later in life (will be back on this later on!!)

Now back to the religion teacher, Miss Rawa'a was always wearing the same clothing design: a coat-like dress in all possible boring colors: light gray, dark gray, light blue, dark blue, beige, diarrhea brown, constipation brown, puke green, emerald green, etc.. About 30 dresses she had with the exact same design like a inspector Gadget's coat; topped with a scarf tied from the front with a knot that she devoted her life to check and retie every 30 seconds. As most Syrian ladies; she was white like a European, with no make up, flat shoes, and six kids at home. A typically perfectly Muslim woman who would go straight to heaven. Amen, amen.

Miss Rawa'a was madly in love with religion- the subject she gave. She would go into a trance and her eyes would practically roll up to the extent that you'd think she could actually see her brain, while telling us about the Prophet Mohamed; who was by far the greatest, most successful, most beloved, most virtuous, most honorable, most trustworthy, most this; most that man ever created on the face of the "baseeta" (Arabic for "the flat = the Earth"; as described in the Quran against all claims of my fellow Muslims in denial :)

That woman taught me for four long years. Believe it or not, this is the first time that I discuss this openly. I never even mentioned this to my parents back home. It felt like she was actually somehow abusing me and I was too shocked to talk about it. But now I shall speak up.

That woman told us among her repeated trances that Islam honored women. Big deal. Errrr, I mean: honored women a big deal - hey!

One of the stories that she kept repeating was that of the marriage of Mohamed to Ayisha. She actually managed to brainwash us into shutting up and not questioning the historical fact that the most honorable was fifty plus when he "married" a child under 10. Be it 6 or 9 years, she was actually married off to the most virtuous who obviously fell in love with her when she was a red hot white baby. We7na 2a3deen.

I was not allowed to say a word or ask any questions. And the hysteria went on.

As I was sitting there listing to Miss Rawa'a's one-way communication about Mohamed and Ayisha for four long years, I couldn't help but recall that memory of the old pig's hands invading my body when I was a child. He was also a good Muslim man with a paryer mark on his head. :)

During Miss Rawa'a's lessons, and while she thought I was listing to her with admiration, I was actually busy trying to stop myself from screaming in her face: "Shut up stupid bitch, you have no idea, religion whore!! Shut it, shut it. Die, Die". I was actually having visions of smothering her with that knot under her chin.

Rawa'a's lessons were like yet another dirty little secret that I had to keep for myself. I knew how Ayisha must have felt. And I knew that if God was really there, and if it were really his message, he would not allow such a thing to happen.

For some weird reason, time and circumstances managed to make me shut my head off this whole subject of religion for a long time. But that is not completely true, now that I think of it. Deep down I wanted to run away from a culture around a religion that said so many things that I was not allowed to object on.

As the years passed, my mom became more and more religious, wore the veil, and transformed to look exactly like one of the people under the stairs . She became an insanely annoying person. Really, like religion is actually your ticket to the competition for the grand prize of becoming the most obnoxious bitter asshole.

I gradually started to lose all hope in finding answers to the questions I had in mind. How could a prophet from God have "married" a child? Doesn't God know anatomy and physiology? How could a prophet from God cancel adoption for the sake of marrying the wife of his adopted son (and made it look vice versa)? How could we listen and accept the fact that it's OK that he attacked his Jewish neighbors in Medina, killed Safiya's husband in front of her and then had sex with her in the same day? How could he have had sex with his servant Maria?

I heard that as the good stories about Mohamed from the wonderful Miss Rawa'a. :)

My religion lessons were my dirty little secret. :)

My dad passed away too early for me to be able to ask his help. I knew he would have told me some sane stuff had I gotten the guts to ask him out loud.

And then FaceBook came my way. Boy oh boy how a bunch of kids at the dorm changed my life and the course of modern history!! Via FaceBook I managed to find original resources for Sunna teachings that supposedly told the truth and nothing but the truth about Mohamed's life. Miss Rawa'a was right. He did really do all she said he did- but this time around I'm learning those facts quarter a century later, and as a free woman in a free Western country, where the freedom of expression is the first law of its constitution. :)

And then one day, came a man called Sayed Elqemany along. He wrote about my dirty little secret- but this time around, from my point of view for a change. I was crying in relief as a feeling of peace fell upon me. I am not alone. What that pig did to me and what that "prophet of God" did to Ayisha CAN be criticized. I am not insane and I'm not dirty and I'm not worthy of eternal hell for suspecting there's something not kosher about God's most perfect man. There is a slim chance in hell that he was not exactly who he claimed to be! Yaay! I knew it all the way!

But I'm a nobody. And via FaceBook I met hundreds, even thousands, of nobodies who had the same ideas and kept their dirty secrets for themselves- until FaceBook came along.

The snow-ball effect is going beyond all expectations. Logic is winning the battle and that is scaring the bile out of the bang gang!!

They want him dead. Elqemany is being sought after and his life is in danger. Why?

Because he is bad influence on the ideology of the Muslim youth. :)


Fucking pedophile assholes, may you burn in hell with all your fucking pedophile ideas. Elqemany is scaring the shit out of you because you will not be able to hide behind God anymore to satisfy your sick needs.

Go to hell, and take Miss Rawa'a with you. Oh and whoever has sex with a child as well. :)

The fucking end.


P.s. A note to my dear beloved who will read this and get very hurt: I am so sorry for having hurt your feelings. I love you no matter what you believe in. That is how much I love you. Always and forever my precious. xx


Ice Queer said...

I totally relate! Loved ur post and wish there was a certain unbiased true FAQs about Islam and every religion!

You know, sometimes I think it's unfair by many of us agnostics/atheists to judge religions with big fat history and complex culture thru some books only, I feel that we r not doing enough! Am I making sense?

Keep going! =)

Ghawayesh said...

Thank you IQ. Your support means a lot to me.

Wandering Scarab said...


I am so sorry for the traumas you have gone through. It takes courage to confront those feelings and talk about them.

On the subject of Islam and history, I believe that the core of the problem is the fact that many Muslims regard the Quran as scripture that is set in stone. Islam has become stagnant as a result. After years of struggle and inner conflict, I tend to view the Quran like any other history book. Some of the things are accurate, and some of them are not, with the majority of it written (and interpreted) by people who haven't even lived in the era or place it originated from. So really, the majority of it is up to interpretation. Things became much clearer to me when I adopted that frame of mind. And I don't think that God is walking around with a scale weighing points like produce in a grocery store. Seriously, after reading how you describe your mother, I was wondering if you were describing mine instead.

I wish you all the best.

Ghawayesh said...

WS, hug. You've been missed. x

Paul said...

As a child being brought up in the Catholic faith, I can totally relate to what you have written. Dissent was forbidden, we were told we HAD to believe or hell awaited. All that mattered was that we went to church and said our prayers. How we actually lived our lives seemed not to matter as long as we ostentatiously professed our faith. Even as a 7 year old I knew something was wrong.

Then there were the paedophile priests........

This pretty much sums up my opinion. Watch it and prepare to hold your sides.

With apologies to true believers.

Ice Queer said...

^ lol @ paedophile priests!
Am I having déjà vu? Or no, wait! I already slept with one thu it wasn't peadophile in any way! =P

Hassan El Helali said...

Very touched and angered... People like this should not live.

I am also blessed to be one of the thousands of the facebook nobodies who discovered they are not alone... May the "Force" bless technology, for it, and it alone will free our minds...

sahar said...

amazing writing with science flavor. have similar story. could you tell me which facebook groups or sites. I need to read more..

فانتوماس said...

First time to pass by here, I believe it won't be the last.
I was touched by your story and the way you can analyze things specially your mother's evolution .. I think people nowadays are becoming either very fanatic or very liberal but I tend to believe that it is the peak of the religious era and it is going down...
People can read and use their brains now ..Salut

Mohannad said...

Loved your post, very emotional, rational, and funny. I'm struck how similar your story is to mine with fundamental differences.

I was born and grew up in Saudi Arabia where the religious brainwashing starts at preschool and lasts throughout the 12 years of school at the rate of 5 different religion classes a semester.

What traumatized me was not the Mohamed and Ayisha thing [I was too young to really understand back then]. It was fear of hell that really got to me. 40% of the religion I was taught how much of a bad place hell was, in great details. One day, when I was 10-13 yrs old, one of my religion teachers told us "Hell's fire is billions of times hotter than the hottest fire on earth. If you want to understand how bad, light a little candle and pass your fingers over it for few seconds. Now imagine the pain billions of times worse and that it wouldn't for few seconds, an hour, a whole year, 10 years, not even 10 centuries. Its an eternity of constant agony."

I thought there was a great chance I'd go to hell since its impossible to be a "perfect" muslim. A part of me wanted wished I'd die before adulthood so I wouldn't be judged as an adult in the afterlife. as I became older, I started not being able to sleep since those few moments of peace and quiet brought the crazy thoughts back. I have a very vivid imagination, I spend a lot of my time day dreaming, those thoughts and feelings were almost as real to me as the keyboard I'm typing with right now. The only way I could sleep is to keep my mind busy working or watching TV till I'm ready to fall asleep instantly, which developed into the insomnia and an irregular sleeping pattern I have today.

It was only when I left SA to a western country that I was able to open my mind up for different ideas and realize how BS is religion as a whole. I'm not really sorry for all the time I spent learning religion, it only made me a stronger atheist today. Like they say "The best atheist book is the bible" [the Quran in my case].

I gotta say that I have wonderful parents who were barely practicing [fasting, and the occasional Friday prayer] and taught us a very moderate version of religion. I just never spoke of what I was going through.

Sorry for the massive comment, it felt so good to get it off my chest for the first time. Thank you!

- Mohannad...

Zebigboss said...

two thumbs up

Ghawayesh said...

Mohannad, your story touched me too. A big (sisterly) hug to you.

Ghawayesh said...

Sahar, if you send me a comment that I won't publish with your FB profile, I'll add you and lead you from there. ;)

Ghawayesh said...

Ice Queer, Hassan, فانتوماس, Zebigboss, Paul

Pleased and honored to have you here. :)

Mohannad said...

I think every religion teacher [in the F-KSA at least] who teaches kids should be trialed for abuse of children.

Ice Queer said...

Mohannad, am touched!

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Barefoot said...

i hear you, i have the same problem with falling asleep for the same reasons,i still freak out thinking i would be aware while underground and angles will come and torture me.
i am still a spiritual person though and i believe in God, but in a more fluid manner and i really believe the way he is presented by all the devoute "religious" is just sick. i won't venture into the prophet stories and all that cause honestly in the end, it doesn't make much difference to me or to the way i live, and i wasn't there so i will never know for sure.
call it religion or law or conscience or bateekh, whatever makes you a just, kind and ethical human being is surely the right doctrine, i don't think a god would really care what you call it as long as the desired outcome is acheived.

Barefoot said...

the earth was never called "baseeta" in the Quran, and i am not just arguing, i am sure :) care to give a reference as of where??

Ghawayesh said...

Terribly sorry guys- I was away on an offline holiday.

Watcher Attentively said...

اتأثرت بالقصة جدا و حاسس بصدقها

Ghawayesh said...

نورت يا واتشر

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