An Egyptian living in Europe but her heart stayed back home. Having some random thoughts about the before and after pictures. Ghawayesh means bracelets. In my context it symbolizes the cuffs of my culture. I don't know if I like them or hate them. Thanks for passing by.

About Me

My photo
I started this blog in 2006 as a joke. Now that I look back, I have decided to take it seriously!

26 February 2012

Home Suisse Home

Please bear with my typos, as I continue to use my ipad, since husband forgot to pay the cable money. lol

I can't believe I made it back home! And I can't believe I'm actually calling Zurich now "home", and it is deservedly so, despite its having just been chosen to be the most expensive city in the world! No wonder!

So the night before our departure, and after 12 days of gorgeous weather, the snow hell broke loose on us! I even had a theatrical fall off a hill under the house and had I been 10 kg heavier I wiud have broken a leg, or an arm, or a neck, but as we Egys say: the life of the bad one is long, tseehee. i raise my head and there was mom in the blacony rolling on the floor laughing at the two mega circles my ass left in the snow. How so effing fun. I hope unknowing passerby would assume the area witnessed the grand landing of a UFO by night.

So0o0o mom looked out if the window and said: u-oh, I smell trouble at the airport. And I said god forbid lol. (I pretend to be all pious around mom, although if she listened carfully, she would definiteky pick the sarcastic pitch of the bitch).

So we goto Detroit airport on time, and before you know it we're being sent from one queue to the next, like we're begging for flights. I was starting to have some emotional resistance to the thought of flying American airlines after what they did to my luggage on the way to the US. Man, they, and to put it down nicely, anally raped my suitcases!

Anyway, some lady approched me in a queue of a plane heading to some unknown destination (No kidding, they just told me to go stand in that queue with about 5000 other frustrated angry helpless zombies), and started shouting at the top of her lungs: " Found her!". Shit what have i done now lol. They took me out and told me that they found seats for us on a Lufthansa flight heading to Frankfurt, but we had to wait 6 hours! For the first time ever, Frankfurt sounded like heaven! I took my, read, NINE bags (yes; of colors, books, and shoes), and went camping infront of the Lufthansa check-in desk. it was actually fun to play with the boys; hide and seek and Spiderman! A while later someone joined in at the next desk, a businessman with fun things to say (i really like men with fun things to say!), and since my stupid phine didn't work, he helped to call my husband and inform him, then he suddenly said to him: I congratulate you for your gorgeous family.


fast forward, we check-in, walk, get undressed and checked, walk, get dressed, walk, go have milke shakes, walk, toilet, walk, sit and play, walk, run, jump, walk, toilet, walk, eat, walk, sit, read, sing, play Spiderman, and before you know it, we're on the plane. Really?!

We're n Frankfurt, great weather, phew. OK, hold on, airport employees are on strike, buwahahahahaah! You know what, fuck snow and all airport employees. Fuck the whole world. Fuck the entire solar system and the nighboring systems. Fuck de la fucking fuck to everyone and everything who stands in my way to my bed right now.

G. Starts to cry and his tears are literally soaking his shirt because of exhaustion. I had to carry him and felt a mini-cardiac arrest.

N. is totally hyper. Ha!

But we made it, they put us on a Little "Swiss" charter and we're off!

We arrive, smooth entrance, smooth exit, and we're home.

What is home actually? Where is home? I alwyas said: home is where my shoes are..

But now I know that home is where the one I love is. Where I breathe the smae air he breathes, and where the name of the place reads his name, and where he sits on the couch to nothing while the kids decorate their cake, and where my shit goes in the same sewage to look for his shit.

I am home and I like where I am.


16 February 2012

Smoking.. Out of my ears..

I've just shouted at my mother for coughing non-stop, day and night, since we arrived. How effing annoying is that!!!! Can't stand her anymore, she's coughing like she's about to die any moment now since we arrived 4 days ago!!!!!!!!!!!

I mean, who the hell is this woman? I can't even recognize my own mother in that human wreck anymore! And how dare she do this to herself? This woman, behold, was a top-notch athlete, dammit!

And she sits there, inbetween coughs, to preach all day about manners, self control, God said this, prophet said that, and blablabla while I can't even stand her smell!

I truly hate smoking; it's by far the ultimate form of self-destruction. I lost my mother to a goddamn disgusting habit!

End of rant.

USA- Universum Solitairum of America

4:15 AM

Just opened my eyes 5 seconds ago..

I spent several hours at Michaels, the ultimate art store. Nothing in America is small.

Oh hold on, I had a really strange dream, or rather a nightmare. The plot: "Because of neglecting behavior, I caused the leg of my client to disappear"!!! I woke up to find real tears on my face! probably because I feel guilty for having left husband stuk at work alone while I blow up his hard-earned cash on shoes. :/

Now, back to the snoring board.

To be continued...

15 February 2012

Ann Arbor State of Mind

I love this place as much as I hate Orange County ha!

I spent, behold, EIGHT hours at Barnes & Noble today! It feels like a long day of mental massage!

So tired now I might fall asZzzzzzZzzzzzzzzzzzZzzzzzzzzzzzz

God Bless America, The Land of the Free Refills

4:25 AM

The first comment that always comes out of my son's mouth as soon as we step foot on American soil is: wow America people are so big!

I don't understand the amount of sugar and harmful fats added to the foods. Even with meat balls they add so much sugar that a meatball becomes a crossover between acookie and meat. Meatcookies!

I never stop asking why. Why is the government allowing this to happen to the people? Why are the people allowing this to happen to them? This is so sad and needs to stop. America needs to stop killing its own people just as much as it needs to stop mass murdering other peoples.

At the supermarket, it took me such a long time to find healthy food. Among the tons of white bread, sweets, fries, starches, loads of sugar, transfats, hydrogenated fats, added fake sugar, I was left with very little choices. This is insanity, people!

Ha random thought, the passport-control officer asked me: how do I know that you're the children's mother? (I kept my maiden name). I said: "They both look like me", and carried G to pose with the 2 faces next to each other. My son suddenly shouted: "But you have fat boobies" .. I dropped him and died.

Off to make N. milk with honey..

14 February 2012

It's 5:55:55 AM in MI!

Long but pleasant trip, except for having forgotten/lost my driver's liscence! I feel, besides utterly idiotic, I feel paralyzed! The very kind gentleman at the car rental compnay suggested that I contact the Swiss council here to issue me a replacement. We'll see how that goes, in the mean time, I'll to use the Egy-plan: Fahlawa lol! Since, of course, the Arab cab driver told me how! :)))))

I met a supermodel in the airport, she was so friendly and looked great even without makeup, took a photo with her but I couldn't for the life of me recall her name! Afterwards 3 Americans came to ask me who she was bahahaha!

And in New York, the passport controllers were giving my boys the Hi5s ahahaha! Kewl!

More news from the US, so the daughter of the hotel cleaner who found Whitney's lifeless body Tweeted about it half an hour before the news came out in the media! She tweeted that Whitney had drowned in the bathtub! Yet another telltale in Twitter's legacy. Three years ago I used to think it was going to be a fiasco this Twitter haha! :/

Now I'm off to start an early day. You know what they say: The early bird ate too many worms and died. Uh uh.

12 February 2012

Let There Be FLight

And we're off to the airport. G. is very unhappy that papa isn't going with us. =(

Glad I postponed the flight so I wouldn't have to miss on the weekend's earth-boogie!

Would love to sit and write.. I'll try on the plane.

If we crash.. Then know that I love you.


11 February 2012

Message From The Other Side

"We all die. The goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will.” - Whitney Houston

Got it, sweetheart.

Thank you for helping my out through the bad times, you might have never known it, but your presence saved my sanity back in the days I had to struggle my way through so many losses.

And, remember this? This song was one of the reasons why I am who I am today. I can't even tell you how much you meant to me. Not the best schools, scared books, mothers, or priests can teach what your art could teach.

I believe the children are our future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be
Everybody searching for a hero
People need someone to look up to
I never found anyone to fulfill my needs
A lonely place to be
So I learned to depend on me

I decided long ago, never to walk in anyone's shadows
If I fail, if I succeed
At least I live as I believe
No matter what they take from me
They can't take away my dignity
Because the greatest love of all
Is happening to me
I found the greatest love of all
Inside of me
The greatest love of all
Is easy to achieve
Learning to love yourself
It is the greatest love of all

I believe the children are our future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be

And if by chance, that special place
That you've been dreaming of
Leads you to a lonely place
Find your strength in love

R.I.P Whitney

I will always love you. xx

Fuck! Errrr.. I mean Phuque!

An earthquake!!!

Was just about to fall asleep, then the shaking started. Went to check, and all the Twitter comrades felt it!!

Shake before use! lol

Fancy Some Minors?

World Press Photo 2012, 1st Prize in the Contemporary Issues Stories, Stephanie Sinclair
Tahani (in pink), who married her husband Majed when she was 6 and he was 25, poses for this portrait with former classmate Ghada, also a child bride, outside their mountain home in Hajjah. Nearly half of all women in Yemen were married as children. Child marriage is outlawed in many countries and international agreements forbid the practice.

10 February 2012

Put Your Hands Up For Detroit

Michigan, here we come..

Can't wait to dive into Barnes & Noble and disappear for days and days.



Just look at him when he's safe and sound in Zurich after what they've done to him in Morocco because of his anti-religious views.

Viva Switzerland.

Starting Over..

I had finished 3 chapters in a novel.. Then suddenly inspiration was dead.

Boom, sudden death.


Next inspiration please..

Back to the drawing board.

Who Did This To My BeoBle?

A contract company in Egypt was asked to stencil on the side of a fuel tanker: Diesel Fuel in Arabic and No Smoking in Arabic. This is what came back:

Saudi writer Hamza Kashgari faces charge of blasphemy after tweets about Muhammad


09 February 2012

08 February 2012

Asmahan - Nights of Merriment in Vienna*

*Courtesy to him:

Nights of merriment in Vienna
Her breeze is from the airs of paradise
A melody so fair ringing in the air
Upon hearing it, the birds weep and sing along

And amidst the clinking of glasses and the ring of the melody
You sway in time like branches in the breeze

Achieve happiness for your soul
Let your heart rejoice
Your loved ones are all around you
It is nothing short of paradise

Enjoy your youth here in Vienna
For Vienna is a garden of Eden

A moment of bliss
If you can have it, you forget the whole universe in it
What will remain of this happiness other than its shadow?
A specter walking among your illusions, a ghost running among your dreams
Why wait for the days to pass without a word?

Celebrate, sing, send your heart swimming on the air, soaring to find a companion in this world

To rejoice in his company, to be happy in his love
Enjoy your youth while your heart is with him

أسمهان - ليالي الأنس

ليالي الأنس في فيينا نسيمها من هوا الجنّة
نغم في الجوّ له رنّة سمع لها الطير بكى وغنّى

ما بين رنين الكاس ورنّة الألحان
قد الأوان ميّال تعاطف الأغصان

تمّ النعيم للروح والعين ما تخلّي قلبك يتهنّى
آدي الحبايب عالجنبيتن إيهِ اللي فاضل على الجنّة

متّع شبابك في فيينا دي فيينا روضة من الجنّة
نغم في الجوّ له رنّة سمع لها الطير بكى وغنّى

ساعة هنا. لو تفضالك. تنسى معاها الكون كلّه
إيه اللي رايح يبقالك من النعيم ده غير ظلّه
خيال ساري مع الأوهام وطيف جاري مع الأحلام
وليه تصبر على الأيام تفوت من غير ما تتكلّم

دي ليلة الأنس في فيينا نسيمها من هوا الجنّة
نغم في الجوّ له رنّة سمع لها الطير بكى وغنّى

افرح. واطربْ. ابعت قلبك يسبح ويطير
في الدنيا دي يلقله سمير

تهنا بقربه، وتسعد بهواه
واتهنّي شبابك والقلب معاه
دي فيينا روضة من الجنة يسعد لياليكي يا فيينا
نغم في الجوّ له رنّة سمع لها الطير بكى وغنّى

Here's a cover by Sarah Al-Hany

Birthday Thoughts

Free flow..

In bed.. Starting a new year.. Listening to Asmahan ha ha! Why? No clue.. I just let my thoughts flow, so here you go..

So why did I think of her? I like this song: "Nights of Joy in Vienna ليالي الأنس في فيينا- Layali el-Uns Fi Vienna). And that song in its turn reminds me of A., the Austrian young man whom I met on my birthday around 20 years ago in Luxor. He was so beautiful and full of big plans for his city; Vienna. In a slightly cocky attitude he was bragging about how he had just finished his Law study and about to invade the world of politics to make a change- a grand one. I was listening with one eyebrow slightly raised, thinking: "Tsee-hee, could one be more confident?!". Back then, I didn't realize he was not so much into foreigners. Ha!

For some reason he left a mark, so unforgettable that I immediately recognized him in a newspaper photo with Jörg Haider over a decade later. I thought: Boy oh boy- you made it, my dear A.

And of course I found him on FaceBook and he remembered me. He sounded relieved to find me a fan of the SVP aahhahahaah! FaceBook is such a mirror of your soul bvvvvhahahahah! He's a big shot politician now- just the way he wanted it to be.

Lesson learned from A., on my birthday, is to never give up on your dream. Art, creation, and education are my league, and having put them on-hold for the last 10 years doesn't have to mean that I should forget about them.

Asmahan's life story is a melodrama in itself. A princess who left everything behind to pursue her passion for art, yet died so young in a sad car accident on the Mansoura road (where my family originates, and where I have a mysterious emotional bond that will never be explained until I finish that book about my grandfather's home). But she did make it, and 70 years after her death, she's still alive.. How? Through her art.

Yes, you can be immortal. In Egypt we have a proverb that goes like: "He who has an offspring never dies.", which I find an utterly mean saying that is typical of our bitchy culture. Because I believe that it should be: "He who has created art never dies".

I want to live forever. I want to write, educate, and create art. And I'm grateful I'm in a society who would let me be me. So, thank you for Europe, and all that singing, thanks for all the chances you're bringing!

Something so beautiful I heard the other day, "a Supernova had to die for us to be born". In our bodies we carry material of stardust since the Big Bang, so, we're all stars, because we are all children of the stars.

Oh the stars and the moon, baby you have always been my best buddies. And the good thing is that you are always you, while stardust friends come and go. One night I was lost in the dark on the way between Duebbendorf and Zurich, to find myself on top of a mountain on a clear night. I got out of the car and stood there in disbelief. It was like I almost could touch the stars. I cried of joy.

Philosophy aside, I don't want to be alive for too long, but I do want to be immortal. I do have my precious boys that I adore, but I want another baby.. But this time it should be my book, or my art project. This, my friends (talking to the stars), is going to be my year..

Oh, and in order to live forever, I want to donate my body to Medicine. The thought of having my liver save a child's life, who in turn lives to become an artist or a scientist, is almost orgasmic. Husband doesn't like the thought of postmortem butchering me into pieces, but buddy, I didn't hear you objecting on your dad burning your mom's body into ashes!!

Goals for the remainder of my life: Be happy, stay healthy, spread love, make art, and keep writing. Bonus: Delete negative energy and at times, reset your brain.

But for now, the #1 goal is to get off bed and go make breakfast, so move it, bitch.

Happy birthday to me.

P.s. It's 9 not 8, but what can you do when the Silicone Valley is the center of the universe. :/

And here's Asmahan's Layali el-Uns

07 February 2012

My Lucky Shop..

There's this cute little shop around the corner from the boys' school where I always like to sneak in after their pickup time.

For some odd reason something out-of-the-ordinary happens whenever I'm there.. Something that makes me rethink things- reconsider views- rearrange thoughts- revise judgements- reevaluate decisions.

Yes, all inside that tiny dark boutique.

Take S's incident.

S. is a mom from the boys' school. She has something very special about her. She's stunningly gorgeous, very stylish, and has a body to die for. I saw her almost every day while picking up the boys, but the maximum we exchanged was hellos.

As I walked into that shop some weeks ago- she was there having a friendly chat with the shop owner, who happens to be German like S. To me, and oddly enough, it now feels like home to hear a German chat that I can finally understand amidst my daily dose of Chuchichaeschtli talk!

They both welcomed me and as usual I had something to say LOL! I asked the shop lady if she knew anything about the vacant shop nearby.

- "Why do you want to rent it?", the shop lady asked.

- "I want to start my own art project for children."

- "Art? What kind of art?" S. suddenly sounded like she found a treasure.

I explained to her..

And before you know it, we're talking for hours and hours.. It was like I knew her forever!

Then we exchange visits, and it turns out to be that we think almost like identical twins!

And now we're starting a project together.. Not exactly an art project for children, but something even more intense that I would have not realized or gotten the power to do hadn't I been in the cute little shop, in that particular moment.

I'm amazed by the magic of that little shop.

Of which window I saw a scene today that was a confirmation. A sign. A message.

And I got the message, as loud and clear as the uninhibited screams of the kids I saw running. As much as it felt like a slap on the face for a fraction of a second- not longer; a volcano of energy suddenly burst within me. I put down the stuff I had intended to buy, ran with the speed of light back home, and resumed working on my art project with new lava in my veins.

Peace out, mon chéri, you get courtesy for inspiring my next art collection.

How to hide how you feel.. My Current Work of Art.. Part 8

First paint a stallion playing with your right nipple.

Then get so high and confident..

Then find out that you're neither unique nor original as you initially thought..

Pretend to be happy-go-lucky and stick to dead flowers in a vase..

Be abstract as abstract can be.. And don't forget to keep smiling.


Voulez vous coucher avec moi?

New toys are fun.

All toys from all continents are welcome.

I'll blow life into your soul.. I'll recreate you, animate and vivify you.

And as soon as you fall for me.. inhale from my soul to resurrect and rise, I'll pretend it never happened- throw you at the length of my arm, shatter you into pieces, and send you on a one-way trip back to necropolis. Blow your dust off my fingers, and move on to the next toy.

Why? Because I'm a Cazzo like that.

02 February 2012

Too Much Goin On

People visiting from Egypt, a painting turns out to be extremely difficult, lots of reading, getting ready for a long trip.. Pfffff..

Yet, B's voice made it better. Can't wait to see you, somewhere, somehow.

And now, breakfast time.

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