An Egyptian living in Europe but her heart stayed back home. Having some random thoughts about the before and after pictures. Ghawayesh means bracelets. In my context it symbolizes the cuffs of my culture. I don't know if I like them or hate them. Thanks for passing by.

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I started this blog in 2006 as a joke. Now that I look back, I have decided to take it seriously!

08 February 2012

Birthday Thoughts


Free flow..

In bed.. Starting a new year.. Listening to Asmahan ha ha! Why? No clue.. I just let my thoughts flow, so here you go..

So why did I think of her? I like this song: "Nights of Joy in Vienna ليالي الأنس في فيينا- Layali el-Uns Fi Vienna). And that song in its turn reminds me of A., the Austrian young man whom I met on my birthday around 20 years ago in Luxor. He was so beautiful and full of big plans for his city; Vienna. In a slightly cocky attitude he was bragging about how he had just finished his Law study and about to invade the world of politics to make a change- a grand one. I was listening with one eyebrow slightly raised, thinking: "Tsee-hee, could one be more confident?!". Back then, I didn't realize he was not so much into foreigners. Ha!

For some reason he left a mark, so unforgettable that I immediately recognized him in a newspaper photo with Jörg Haider over a decade later. I thought: Boy oh boy- you made it, my dear A.

And of course I found him on FaceBook and he remembered me. He sounded relieved to find me a fan of the SVP aahhahahaah! FaceBook is such a mirror of your soul bvvvvhahahahah! He's a big shot politician now- just the way he wanted it to be.

Lesson learned from A., on my birthday, is to never give up on your dream. Art, creation, and education are my league, and having put them on-hold for the last 10 years doesn't have to mean that I should forget about them.

Asmahan's life story is a melodrama in itself. A princess who left everything behind to pursue her passion for art, yet died so young in a sad car accident on the Mansoura road (where my family originates, and where I have a mysterious emotional bond that will never be explained until I finish that book about my grandfather's home). But she did make it, and 70 years after her death, she's still alive.. How? Through her art.

Yes, you can be immortal. In Egypt we have a proverb that goes like: "He who has an offspring never dies.", which I find an utterly mean saying that is typical of our bitchy culture. Because I believe that it should be: "He who has created art never dies".

I want to live forever. I want to write, educate, and create art. And I'm grateful I'm in a society who would let me be me. So, thank you for Europe, and all that singing, thanks for all the chances you're bringing!

Something so beautiful I heard the other day, "a Supernova had to die for us to be born". In our bodies we carry material of stardust since the Big Bang, so, we're all stars, because we are all children of the stars.

Oh the stars and the moon, baby you have always been my best buddies. And the good thing is that you are always you, while stardust friends come and go. One night I was lost in the dark on the way between Duebbendorf and Zurich, to find myself on top of a mountain on a clear night. I got out of the car and stood there in disbelief. It was like I almost could touch the stars. I cried of joy.

Philosophy aside, I don't want to be alive for too long, but I do want to be immortal. I do have my precious boys that I adore, but I want another baby.. But this time it should be my book, or my art project. This, my friends (talking to the stars), is going to be my year..

Oh, and in order to live forever, I want to donate my body to Medicine. The thought of having my liver save a child's life, who in turn lives to become an artist or a scientist, is almost orgasmic. Husband doesn't like the thought of postmortem butchering me into pieces, but buddy, I didn't hear you objecting on your dad burning your mom's body into ashes!!

Goals for the remainder of my life: Be happy, stay healthy, spread love, make art, and keep writing. Bonus: Delete negative energy and at times, reset your brain.

But for now, the #1 goal is to get off bed and go make breakfast, so move it, bitch.

Happy birthday to me.

P.s. It's 9 not 8, but what can you do when the Silicone Valley is the center of the universe. :/

And here's Asmahan's Layali el-Uns

1 comment:

Raouf said...

Happy Birthday

You have been pregnant for a while now and it seems that your moment is approaching.

That baby is your gift to the world but it is also the gift of the universe to you for being open to it.
In some ways this baby will be something very intimate and familiar like something you knew but forgot about. And in other ways it will be something new and unprecedented.

Best wishes for more magic.

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